Thoughts to Paws over…

My second trip to melancholia came later this morning while I was out walking my friend Marcus.  There is a lady who lives in my neighbourhood who has three Shelties, one of them was a pup just a short time ago.  I passed them at the very beginning of our trek,  I think at that time I was more focused on the Beagle behind me, the potential of the Jack Russel at the corner waging a surprise attack and me not tripping over my big white German Shepherd friend that I didn’t really take the time to “look” at the lovely trio of dogs.  A half an hour later we were on our way back to take my friend home when much to my surprise we encountered that same little group, I didn’t realize they walked for as long as we did.  I was on the other side of the street going the opposite direction and I became aware of the fact that the newest member of their family had grown quite a bit over the summer, he wasn’t a puppy anymore.  I can’t adequately describe the moment really, I locked eyes with Finn and for a brief moment I didn’t see him.  I felt like there was something behind his eyes that I recognized and then my dear Piper came to my mind, a lump formed in my throat and tears welled up in the corner of my eyes,  I was engulfed by a feeling of loss.   It most likely is a breed thing, many share the same characteristics, it’s not hard for my long lost friend to come to mind, and yet, there was something?   Finn was looking back at me as I looked over my shoulder at him, while all the other dogs moved forward  The movie “A Dog’s Purpose” came to mind, the idea of reincarnation, the dog never dies—he keeps being reborn, remembering his past experiences, learning lessons from each life that help him with the next one,  wishful thinking I know.  It never ceases to surprise me though that no matter how much time elapses, how grief can creep up on me and that the absence of Piper’s presence has a left a void in my heart , an ache that will never go away.  I think that is permissible, I know that I have no shortage of love to share, it is okay if I miss that bond we shared.  I am just grateful for sun glasses to hide behind, that’s all I can say!

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