There was a book I used to read the girls when they were little called “the Perfect Day.” Today started off wonderfully! The sun was already out in full force, but there was a wee bit of a breeze, which was such a welcome feeling after all the humidity we’ve been experiencing in Southern Ontario. I somehow managed to get up, feed all my furry friends, have a shower, make my bed, put in a load of laundry, eat my cereal and get out the door by 7:45! Friday is garbage day, so it was magnificent that I didn’t have to tote around bags of poop, I could drop them at my leisure in people’s bins as we did our usual route. Lucas and Newton were walking rather functionally, no crazy criss-crossing. Awesome, the streets were quiet, “it was a Perfect Day!” This is the part where I wish I could add sound affects into my writing….imagine the sound of a record being scratched or perhaps a visual would be more apt of a mushroom cloud after an explosion.
What started out as “Perfect Day” was dashed by a little gurgle in my intestines. That unexpected moment when you think, “Oh Dear Me!” I did an abrupt about face, and turned tail to go home, both dogs were both quite confused and unimpressed by my sudden deviation. What followed next was a literal shit show, pardon, the pun. I was trying to find the fastest route home, the dogs kept thinking that perhaps I had forgotten we were heading to the park and kept cutting me off. Dashing and darting in front of me, while I tried to hold my sphincter muscles. All I could think of was, please just let me make it, I just needed to get to my place of residence! Of course as I was nearing the home stretch, I run into a client whom I am normally quite chatty with. White knuckled and wide eyed I whisked past waving, “Hello, I forgot I left something on at the house!” (Code for, if I stop to talk , you and I are about to share a rather unpleasant and life altering moment that will mortify us both). By the time I reached the front door of my domicle I felt a wave of relief wash over me, I managed to get the door unlocked, the leashes off, leap over the cat who was lazing on the top stair, another test to see just how good my resolve really is! If he only knew how close he came to being the target of a naplam attack he would have surely ran for cover. Success, I made it to the loo with two dogs and the cat in tow, all standing at the entry way staring at me wondering what my deal was. In retrospect, I guess it was a perfect day, I made it ! I will say though, on one of my busiest days I have had, I am feeling a great deal of trepidation every time I am out walking today and wondering if one of those ‘poop bags’ tied around the leashes might be my saving grace.